hey douchebags: your stupid, trendy hair might be holding you back

In what local douchebags are calling a "dick move," NBC Action News reported last night that trendy hairstyles such as the faux-hawk may create a disadvantage for those seeking employment in a tight job market.

To paraphrase the report, your hair can tell potential employers whether you're an entitled, vain asshole who will drink too much tequila and sleep through his alarm three days a week.

"Whatever, man," says J.N., an Overland Park douchecanoe rocking a bleach blonde faux-hawk and a fitted white t-shirt with the word "sacrifice" emblazoned across the chest. "Silencing the haters is a full-time job."