I am a low-maintenance kind of girl - I prefer comfy to fancy and cut-offs to dresses, so wearing heels for a day, especially four-inch heels, is completely out of the ordinary. In fact, the last time I did so may have been at my friend's wedding in 2007, when I preferred to walk barefoot around Union Station rather than endure another moment in those awful excuses for footwear.
I know other women (and some men) wear even higher heels on a daily basis at jobs where they have to stand for eight-plus hours, and it quite honestly confounds me; today I almost walked barefoot to the bathroom after only a few hours in heels, and most of that time I was sitting behind a desk.
Because when I wear heels I essentially feel as though I'm re-learning how to walk, I've written some limericks, my favorite poetic form from childhood.
There once was a girl from K-City
Who found four-inch heels quite tricky
"My shoes might be killers,"
she said with a shiver
And downstairs she stumbled too quickly.
When a tomboy decides to dress up
She thinks brushing her hair is the stuff
Until one more genteel
Presents her with heels
Though before she was quite tall enough.
She wears her high heels to the bar
Three drinks in, she doesn't get far
Caught on the rug
Her shoe gives a tug
She spills as though poured from a jar.